Right. Well.  My first match report so I hope the critics among you have time to overlook the poor grammar, use of sentences and just bad English.

I think I speak for everyone in saying that we didn’t know what to expect from this game and coming from last weeks 4-0 loss against Alderholt Allstars and the early set back of losing James before the game it was a case of damage limitation?
We needed a good start.

The set up was Barry GK, Steve RB, Gary LB, Chris (Tramp, Shaggy) RM, Myself (George, Dorothy Perkins?) LM, Ben ST and lets not forget Chrissy Howarth and Ian on the sidelines providing the brains.  

As we got underway my first thought was there going to be a fast team with lots of energy and there going to take it too us straight away, but I think it was us that started the quicker of the two teams and looked the more likely to score but for a few shots wide and miss placed balls in the final third.  Ben looked comfortable up front, holding the ball up, laying it off, having shots and giving their CB nothing.  Chris (Tramp, Shaggy) bossed the midfield and looked happy to receive to ball at any time and move it on quickly and precisely, he also broke up the play with good use of the body and his strangely big toes seemed to latch on to everything.  Gary at the back had a usual solid performance giving the striker no time on the ball and reading the game superbly, he still had time to give me an earful which I happily acknowledged with a smile and some heavy breathing that said ‘ Leave me alone, I’m about to be sick’. Steve (whose fitness was in question before the game, due to a cheeky little operation in the week) really stood out for me with his marauding runs up the wing and tireless work at the back, I could almost say we looked comfortable albeit at 0-0 and the obvious lack of fitness from our LM.

I think it was after the 10 minute mark we opened up a good move, with good play at the back and some quick passes in midfield, Chris was played in to space on the edge of the box and had I think all the time in the world to pick his spot.  After an agonising 3 seconds it was decided upon him (bare in mind his recent shooting stats. Sorry mate) to take on the toe punt finish made famous by Steve. Luckily for him and the team it found its way past the keeper and into the bottom right corner of the goal. 1-0.

For me the rest of the first half was a blur. Onto the second half I think we really found our feet and should made it 2,3 even 4 but for their superb keeper.  From what I can remember I don’t think Barry made more than two of three saves, but still a good performance from our numero uno.
Last 10 minutes it was a case of run the clock down, sit back (but not invite pressure), run the clock down, keep possession and do a little bit of time wasting. 

Besides Chris’s first half goal the highlight of the match was Ben’s Touch, Turn and Volley, which I think we all thought was going into the top corner but for there rather good keeper making a great save.

If you’ve got to the end of this horrible dribble I’ve written and still like me, then I admire you greatly and look forward to seeing you all at this Saturday’s social and playing next week’s game.

Cheers, George

Excellent report George.
Though I think the phrase is drivel - dribble is what you lot were supposed to be doing on the pitch.

George, why don't you talk like this in real life. I thought the report was gunna be all grunts with bums and tits thrown in!!